Meet the Gents of St John's…
Alto (2019 - 2023)
Alasdair Austin
Alasdair is a gent who is incapable of meeting deadlines of biography submissions. Despite being older than most gents when they start in the group, his maturity is surprisingly that of a child. Alasdair chose to study Geography as a degree, something equally unemployable as music. In conclusion, the less said about him the better. His redeeming qualities include wearing his gents scarf, his flamboyant voice and the occasional witty remark.
Bass (2022 - 2023)
George Butler
George is one of our new lay clerks this year, and despite his grand old age and his towering stature, he struggles with the simple things. You would’ve thought that taking two goes to ‘pass’ nursery (something other Gents thought was impossible to fail) would have helped matters. Alas, you’d be wrong. Having graduated from the RNCM three years ago, he now busies himself in Cambridge in a real job doing maths and coding. The anonymous music-studying Gents currently writing his biography will not even attempt to explain what this entails. Beyond this, George enjoys playing as our reliable centre-back, spending his life savings on Bould Brothers’ tea, and claiming that he used to have chest hair that formed a naturally occuring Batman symbol. We’re sceptical.
tenor (2020 - 2024)
James Gant
James was born in a primitive swamp settlement known by anthropologists as ‘Oxford’. At the tender age of 9 he became a chorister at Magdalen College, Oxf*rd, where he was brutally (understandably) passed up for the position of head chorister. But he’s over it. No, really. After a gap year spent singing as a lay clerk at Merton College, Oxford, James arrived at St John’s reading Theology, Religion, and Philosophy of Religion. He hopes to one day usurp God. Having failed to achieve this, James switched to studying Political Sciences after his first year. When not singing with the gents, James can be found playing the viola, and is proud to be a founding member of the Cambridge University Viola Orchestra, headquartered at the Maypole, our local pub. He also dabbles in musical theatre, with commentators of his role as Tony in West Side Story delivering such high praise as ‘the cracks weren’t really noticeable’, and ‘you recovered well’. He also played the prestigious role of ‘2nd Lamb’ in the MCS Junior School production of the Nativity scene. Critics described his performance as ‘electrifying’.
tenor (2019 - 2024)
Joe Hancock
Joe grew up in ‘the other place’, and spent the first few weeks of his time in Cambridge keeping this fact quiet. He first displayed the faintest hint of musicality at the age of 7, in a composition competition at his primary school, in which he was awarded second place. There was one other competitor. This achievement was swiftly followed by a starring one-line role as the munchkin coroner in a production of The Wizard of Oz. Thankfully he has now realised that his place in the theatre is firmly behind the curtain, and so confines himself to the tech box, where he “turns the mics on”, a task which he is adamant does actually require some skill. Back in the choir stalls, Joe busies himself forgetting his pencil and not being able to sing any notes below the stave.
bass (2022 - 2024)
Jonathan Hatley
As a native Oklahoman who later moved to Texas before moving to the UK, Jonathan has joined the Gents struggling to sound like a Brit. It is a conundrum why he has moved to Cambridge to work as a choral musician when the unfortunate condition of his Southern accent hinders him so. Luckily, the Gents are able to look past his flaws and have taken him in as one of their own, despite the age gap of nearly a decade. Jonathan, more commonly known as Chad, doesn’t claim to be proficient in any instrument, and therefore yearns to be a conductor. His indefatigable desire to get a job as one in Cambridge may or may not have anything to do with the fact that he could be deported if he doesn’t. Jonathan enjoys spending time with his wife and pets (who bafflingly still put up with him after several years), complaining about yet another rainy English day, and confusing ‘pants’ for trousers’.
alto (2022 - 2024)
Liv Hawkins
Liv has just begun studying at Girton College for her Masters in Nanotechnology. If you aren’t sure what this means, don’t worry, she doesn’t know either. Despite the fact that she hasn’t got a choir response book or a pigeonhole, Liv has decided it’s still a good idea to skip five hours of class per week to come to rehearsals. When not honouring this noble commitment, Liv aims to maintain her reputation as the “Gentiest Gent of the last five years”, so can often be found enjoying a pint and flaunting what is widely acknowledged to be the best mullet in the choir. As well as this, Liv heralds from ‘the homeland’ (Scotland) and ensures nobody can ever forget this fact by mentioning it at every semblance of an opportunity.
Tenor, assistant organist (2019 - 2023)
George Herbert
The 16th century metaphysical poet George Herbert went to Trinity College. George Herbert doesn’t. The poet wrote in English, Latin and Greek. George doesn’t understand any of these. The former was a skilled lutenist. George isn’t. In fact, all of our organ scholar’s deficiencies are epitomised by his decision after the end of a career as an average cathedral chorister ‘somewhere up north’ to become a less-than-average organist. Having gone to some music school or other, he came to St John’s under the impression that he knew something about his subject. His supervisors have helped him to realise that this is not the case. He now spends most of his time wishing he were still a singer, claiming to be from Manchester despite his lack of accent, complaining about the price of pints in Cambridge, and trying to convince people that he knows anything at all about music.
alto (2022 - 2024)
Alice Hilder Jarvis
Alice’s choral career began at the age of 8, when she joined St Albans Cathedral Girls’ Choir. Her time there culminated in her being made Head Chorister, a position that was permanently abolished within 12 months of her departure from the choir. For legal reasons, Alice claims no responsibility for any damage done to the institution. On an unrelated note, Alice enjoys the dubious honour of sharing her alma mater with the United Kingdom’s shortest-serving Prime Minister: she sang with the choir of Merton College, Oxford, whilst pretending to study Mathematics and Philosophy for her undergraduate degree. Eventually realising that studying a real subject requires real work, Alice instead opted to pursue an MPhil in Philosophy at Darwin College. Her other achievements include being cast as Voldemort in her year 7 school play, where her acting career reached its zenith as she arose from a cauldron wearing a bald cap. Alice is keen to leave this moment behind: she now has the longest hair in the group.
Tenor (2022 - 2025)
Theo Horch
Theo hails from the industrial land of Streatham, South London, and joins the group hoping to work on developing his ‘Gents belly’ via at least two daily full-Englishes. He’s assured by the older members of the group that this will help with resonance. Singing choral evensong is something of a novelty for young Theodore, having never attended a service previously – a convenient excuse for his “improvisatory” approach to psalm singing. A London boy, he is well-versed in the art of excessively complimenting his peers into buying him expensive pints of beer. He hopes to further build on these skills when sampling the selection of real ales at the choir’s local pub. A tenor gifted with a penchant for “cockiness” and “suavity” (his own words), a bit of “Dutch courage” is the last thing this man needs: “Here for vibes and a history degree.”
alto (2022 - 2025)
Alice Markham
Alice was born and grew up in a quaint little village on the outskirts of Derby called Sutton, where the common greeting is '“Ey up me duck”, but she has very quickly learnt that people tend not to say that around here. Her first memory of singing dates back to when she was two years old, where she stood up unannounced in a Christmas service and sang her own rendition of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’, after she told the congregation the famous story of how Jesus got stuck up the chimney. Despite her lack of choral training, Alice joins the group as a jazz singer, which can be deduced through her unwarranted scat solos during choir services. Nevertheless, the Gents are all far too frightened of her to correct her singing: for despite being the shortest Gent, Alice is also a kickboxer. Aside from studying English Literature at St. John’s and threatening the rest of us with violence, Alice loves a boogie, writing songs, and a G & T.
tenor (2022 - 2025)
Garbhan McEnoy
One of Cambridge’s leading Tiktokers, the Gents’ Social Media Consultant hails from the far away, endlessly green expanse of Belfast, Ireland. On a completely different note, he now studies music at Girton College, which is a cool 2.6 miles away from St John’s Chapel. Some things never change. Despite Garbhan’s social media fame, one thing keeps him humble: he has to daily fend off deeply incorrect pronunciations of his own name, which unfortunately extends to him having to translate his whole accent for the less worldly of the Gents. When taking a break from doing this, Garbhan can often be found at a Taylor Swift club night, or persuading everybody that he’s actually a student, rather than a chorister that’s gotten lost in the back row. Nevertheless, what he lacks in height, he makes up for in a (sometimes painfully) optimistic outlook on life, although it’s fair to say that he’s probably better suited for cheerleading rather than playing in the choir football tournament.
bass (2020 - 2023)
David McIntyre
David began his singing career at the age of 7 when he decided to follow in his brother’s footsteps – something which would be somewhat unwise now – and sing as an impressively mediocre treble at Magdalen, Ox**rd. Thankfully, God looked kindly upon both him and those who had to listen to his treble voice, and his voice broke at the age of 12. After spending a term turning pages and pulling stops in the organ loft, a task which is shockingly stressful, he moved on and started pretending to do singing practice as a baritone. Somehow, despite his original intentions of studying classics in his hometown, he has ended up studying music at Fitzwilliam College, and subsequently leaving far too little time to get to St John’s for rehearsals.
alto (2022 - 2025)
Matthew Monaghan
Matthew began his singing career at Emmanuel Church, Wylde Green, where he was advised to sing countertenor as there was an abundance of basses at the time. This is the narrative that he prefers to pander, rather than the Gents’ suspicion that his voice still remains unbroken. As a native of Walsall, Matthew spends most of his time trying to fit in with real singers by masking his inherently incomprehensible accent. Alongside his singing, he claims to be a percussionist, though his superior qualities include being lanky and ginger. Owing to such characteristics, some may be surprised to learn that Matthew is a great advocate of jerk chicken, having previously worked in a Caribbean food van throughout the Summer before he came to university. He now studies music at Churchill College, where he was disdained to discover that not only would he now have to focus on the music of Elgar rather than Elton, but also that he’d have to learn how to actually ride a bike.
Bass, manager (2021 - 2024)
Henry Montgomery
Henry was born in the North of Lincolnshire and therefore holds the title of ‘Most Northern Gent’. The perks of this role solely include having his pronunciation of ‘grass’ and ‘bath’ mercilessly pointed out by his choirmates, which he promises to find absolutely hilarious. Honestly. After stumbling into choral music aged 14 at his local minster, he followed this with singing in the National Youth Choirs of Great Britain, which began his obsession with choral music that he still hasn’t managed to shake off. Henry is perpetually confused about how he ended up singing at St. John’s, having never applied to the college, and only auditioned for the choir in the week of the deadline. Nonetheless, he hopes that his boundless enthusiasm can offset all of his wrong notes. Alongside choir, Henry reads music at Magdalene College, and has recently discovered that his favourite hobby is trying to forget he has said degree to work for. When not doing this, he enjoys Star Wars, being mistaken for Harry Potter, and pretending he isn’t from Grimsby.
Bass (2022 - 2024)
John Moore
John was raised in a copse of lime trees about twenty kilometres from the ancient settlement of Brighton-upon-channel, which he frequently claims as his hometown because it sounds more wordly than the small Sussex village where he actually grew up. Having spent the formative years of his life learning to read, write, play the piano, and occasionally speak, John eventually decided to pursue the study of pure mathematics. Despite having graduated from Imperial College London with an actual degree, he has decided to come to Homerton to read music as an undergraduate once more, a move which baffles modern historians to this day. In the face of accompanying ridicule, John takes comfort in frequent comparisons to Eminem, Miley Cyrus, or virtually any other platinum blonde celebrity that you can think of.
Bass, junior organ scholar (2022 - 2025)
Alex Robson
Alex grew up in Kent, where he started piano lessons at the age of 6 because he was a very popular young man. Deciding that this wasn’t cool enough, he took up the organ at secondary school and has been unfortunately stuck ever since. He arrives at the choir after a gap year at St George’s Chapel, Windsor, where he received extensive training in the art of printing out service booklets and watching the Royal Family from high above. Now that he’s at Cambridge, Alex hopes to continue along this vein by royally ruining his music degree and any future job prospects.
tenor (2022 - 2024)
Carlos Rodríguez Otero
It is obvious that Carlos is Spanish because he burns in the sun and says things like ‘jolly good’ with the voice of a 1950s weather presenter. After moving to the UK aged two, he decided to embark on his vocal career—it was clear from Carlos’ ability to reduce bustling public spaces to deserted wastelands in mere seconds that he should become a tenor. Overcome by charity, though, he decided to make the lives of those around him more bearable by starting on the violin, aged six. Around this time he also decided to learn the piano and moved to Bristol, where there is a nice bridge. Aged eighteen, he came up to Queens’ College, Cambridge, where there is also a nice bridge. You can imagine how delighted he is to be a lay clerk at St John’s, where he is told there is another nice bridge. At Queens’, Carlos read for his undergraduate and master’s degrees in music, and fell in love with the Anglican choral tradition. In order to match his generally middle-aged aura, he also thought it necessary to develop a keen interest in the music of the Middle Ages and Renaissance. Despite this, however he does have some redeeming features: firstly, he looks a bit like Alex Semple (see below); secondly, he helps the other gents to feel better about their football abilities by only pretending not to be very good.
Bass, MUSICAL DIRECTOR (2019 - 2024)
Alex Semple
Anna Semple's brother was born in 2001 on the same day as Prince Alexander-Jozef von Battenberg of Bulgaria in 1857. Like this Veronese-born Prince, Mr Semple also takes pleasure in claiming Bulgarian heritage, despite being born in Epsom - all in the name of being edgy and exotic. In fact, Mr Semple is as Bulgarian as he is a singer. Through a series of incomprehensible events, this violinist has found himself in the choir of St John's College, Cambridge. He has since taken up gin drinking, poor chat, and a worrying work ethic in an effort to fit in.
Bass (2020 - 2023)
Max Todes
Max joins the choir in the hope of furthering his career as an orchestral conductor. The obvious irony here does not escape Max, but the ability to write his own biography unfortunately has done. If Max had bothered to write his own biography, he would have been able to discuss his many impressive accolades and achievements at some length. They have been omitted here for the sake of his ego. Egoism is not the only crime that Max is guilty of, however; he’s occasionally disturbed by the sound of police sirens drifting through the chapel during services, as he’s become quite accustomed to his own performances being rudely interrupted by the arrival of the authorities. Other than that, there is rather little to be said about this particular Gent. He studies music at St John’s, is incapable of meeting multiple biography submission deadlines, and takes his shoes off during rehearsals, which is deeply unsettling.